"You cannot choose all the circumstances that come into your life, but you can choose whether those things will make you a bitter person or a better person. It's your responsibility. No one can ruin your life except you! The devil can't because he doesn't have enough power. God won't because He loves you. Only you can ruin your own life... When you assume responsibility for your own attitude, then you can start enjoying true peace of mind."
The above was taken from Rick Warren's book entitled "Answers to Life's Toughest Questions". I believe in it with my whole heart. You'd all be proud to know that as soon as my ex and his "mistress" apologized to me about the affair, I forgave them on the spot. That was two weeks ago. I didn't want any more drama. I didn't want the hurt to continue on, so I committed them and all my problems to the Lord. It's true that when you forgive someone, you're overcomed by a sense of peace. But it doesn't mean that it's been smooth sailing ever since. Like recovering from the abandonment, forgiveness is a process. You don't just wake up one day and expect everything to be okay. I'd still send an angry word or two to my ex. But I'd later retract it and apologize. Me apologizing doesn't mean I condone what he's done, instead it's more of me wanting a clear conscience. At the end of the day, I'd like to be able to look back and proudly say that I did right. That my actions glorified God.
As for my kids, I'm very thankful that they're both too young to understand what's going on (they're both under the age of two). And with regards to the comment left by Erin, don't worry. I have no intentions of putting their father in bad light. Truth be told, he was very good to me when we were together. He was very kind and loving and still is. I guess we just grew apart. I understand the importance of a father figure for my boys, so despite everything, I'm doing my best to stay on good terms with him. The pain is there of course, and there are times when I just want to bonk him on the head with a baseball bat. But at the end of the day, it's not about me or him. It's about what's best for my boys. I want them to know that despite the situation, they are loved. That mommy loves them, and that their daddy loves them.
I am grateful that Andrea blogged about my prayer request or else I wouldn't have come across such wonderful women. You see, I'm only 21. SURPRISE! I still have alot to learn and I'm thankful that I have alot of "moms" who are willing to guide me and pray for me. I appreciate the words of encouragement and the stories that you've left behind. It's empowering to know that I am not alone, and that by your example, God indeed has a plan for my life. That He has bigger and better things in store for me and my kids. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful women praying for me that I would love to return the favor. Please do not hesitate to message me your prayer requests. I believe that prayer is powerful, whether you are prayed for by family and friends or by a complete stranger. No matter who prays for you, God hears us and will answer us as He has answered me. Thank you for all your support. It is overwhelming and inspires me to continue my walk with God. I hope you can all stay with me on my journey, I look forward to getting to know you all :) God bless.